Pre Season Part One Winter 2004

PRE SEASON 2005

I BUILT IT, WILL ANYONE COME?

Sunday 17th April
“And they say men cannot show commitment?”
The boys agreed, as for the third training session only Fi, Hayley B and Rachel had showed up. Hayley, the B is for Butt, is an exceptional player but even she would find it hard to play in three positions. It’s the third week of April and with only one week to go before ‘Opening Day’, the Leftfield Softball Deviants (LSDs) Too, find themselves still unsure of certain key points in the starting line up.

We had already inked in James Baker, short stop. A doctor by trade, the 27 year old was born and raised in Orange County, and has already demonstrated a steady glove, accurate arm and the calmness you’d damn well expect from your local GP when faced with a potential crisis, as every infield play will undoubtedly resemble. Third base is 32 year old native of Brooklyn, Matt Turrigano, a left handed slugger of traditional US softball stature, who is likely at this stage to end of up being called ‘Flanders’, more of that later. Second base will reside Hayley Butt, 29 year old Marketing Analyst for a major High Street Bank was one of my charges a few seasons back when I coached her works team, and was the best player by miles. Should be in our first team, but neither of us have any inclination to see that happen at the moment.

First base is at the moment Fiona Reynolds. ‘Fiesty Fi’ has already got the ball in the face initiation out of the way and is showing signs of actually enjoying the stresses of playing in this very important position. Her day job is sending out those people who stop you on the High Street to enquire whether you’ve got two minutes to help solve third world debt / child poverty or in her case, a chronic shortage of females who can play first base. Pitcher is me. Rachel Coggan, is the catcher, a newcomer to the sport she is hitting the ball well and is developing a theory that if she swings at the first pitch, the next two pitches will be balls. Has already got the art of taking the piss out of the captain down to a fine art, and already is clearly going to be an absolute ‘joy’ to boss around.

Alex Parker, the team baby at 23, yet married with a kid on the way, will be our leftfielder. He is our teams’ Mr White Van Driver, and has opinions on most subjects not least on who should be accompanying him in he rest of the outfield. And that, one and a half weeks before our scheduled Opening Day is as certain as we will be about
a) who is going to turn up and,
b) where they are going to play.

So how did we get here?

August 2004
“That’s it I am not f****** playing for the LSDs’ next season if your playing, I am fed up with your moaning”

In the warm up before our vital match in our quest for our third successive league title, captain and short stop Mike Baptie unloads in front of the team. I should have walked off there and then but I kept quiet and pitched a good game and then brought my season to a close. The context of this outburst was the lack of an umpire, and the fact that if this continued we wouldn’t have a match. On the sidelines was Karen Stokes, and when told that she couldn’t umpire due to looking after Polly’s kid, I commented; ‘well if she doesn’t umpire we will all be looking after Polly’s kid”.

Now in a season when Mike has been whinged at by Amar, Clive, Debs, Bob and Ginge on the occasions he had to bench them, it didn’t rank as the number one gripe but it certainly played out as such. So that was that, the umpire turned up, I pitched well, the team won through and at the end “fuck you Baptie, I am off”.

This was all to a backdrop in some pretty stressful times in my private life. My attempts at self employment were floundering and the financial strains were tearing my marriage apart piece by piece. The blame for this was entirely at my door. Since May 2003, I had been trying to establish a sports marketing company, and despite some well received ideas, money was not coming in. I worked extremely hard, but ultimately the ideas were not finding support amongst sports bodies and professional clubs.

Spending anymore weekends or indeed money playing softball were a no no, having explained this to Piers and Kama, I kind of hibernated safe in the knowledge that this would all be understood. It soon transpired that I was wrong, over the next few weeks word got back to me that I had seemingly fallen out with the rest of the team . Admittedly I didn’t help disabuse the rumours. During Kama’s farewell party, her and husband Rich were travelling around the world, I think I spoke two words to most, though did have long conversations with a homeward bound Thomas Zuazola our Spanish baseball star and also Clive. I just felt self conscious about having revealed my current domestic situation and certainly didn’t feel well disposed to discussing it any further.

Wednesday 2nd November 2004
Fast forward three months and the questions about who I was going to play for started to nag. That I could focus on this was down to finally getting a job and passing my driving test, at the age of 38, all in the same week. This helped bridge the growing divide at home, and not a moment too soon.

The job was in Sports Marketing with the Welsh Sports Association Commercial Unit. Recruited on a presentation that highlighted the ideas that for the last 18 months had found so little favour, I would be working on behalf of 14 national governing bodies of sport and given the opportunity to develop the ideas and more importantly net £1600 a month. The interview itself was a breeze, despite the chairman of the panel taking a mobile phone call during my pitch, I did ask later whether it was a deliberate ploy, but no it wasn’t and on reflection the conversation that engaged in whilst I was talking about membership benefits was pretty detailed. A more welcome mobile phone call from John O’Callaghan received today brought forth an overwhelming sense of relief and personal vindication. Camilla was in tears when I told her, the cats seemed excited too. Great day, only tempered by the fact that George W Bush got re-elected and Brighton lost 3-0 at Derby. Mind you, just for once I couldn’t give a damn. I e-mailed everybody who I thought cared, got some great replies from those who did!

Delved into debt a little bit more and celebrated in style with Camilla. It was then at this point in time I decided to try and keep tabs of how this new team was going to come about. Well, I had to do something on these daily train commutes to Wales.

Thursday 3rd November 2004
For the first time in 12 months awoke without any stress, god it felt good!

Sunday 6th November 2004
Played indoor softball, a sport which bears little semblance to the outdoor version that it deserves a complete book to itself. Anyway, hit seven home runs in our two matches, only hit three in 16 matches last season. When things come together they certainly come together. People asking about this feud with the LSDs, try and explain that its’ really only Mike I have problems with and if I did stay then he leave and take a few players with him, so its’ best to leave well alone. All this interest in little ol’ me?

I am now going to really get this new team sorted out.

Monday 7th November 2004
Right lets get down to sorting out this softball team then. But how exactly do you get to recruit a completely new team?

Could go for an easier option and play for another established team. I think I have enough cache, people tend to be well disposed to me. Well, not everyone, or I would still be playing for the LSDs. I don’t think it would be wise to play in Division One, that would be too awkward a social situation and frankly everyone else has established pitching and I have been stuck at that job far too long to start convincing people I can do justice to another position.

Nope, if I am convinced that this would be good for me to start afresh, bring myself in contact with situations that will help me understand the type of person I am, then a new team it is.

It’s a decision that comes with a few reservations. We would have to start at the bottom of the three tiered pyramid and I am not really convinced that I want to play in Division Three. Sure it is more relaxed and should be viewed as fun, but its also a division whose motto should be, ‘send me your weak, overweight, inept and we won’t improve them’. No matter what attitude I take into this now, at some point, possibly the second Tuesday of the season, there will be the great desire overwhelming me to win the whole damn thing. I don’t like that Billy Cotton anymore!

It is a nagging concern, but not as huge as the main one that affects all captains and managers of Softball teams. Where do I get the girls from?

It’s not like the establishment of the 1995 Leftfield Softball Deviants, could be much a yardstick for 2005. Then, I was single, I had mates who were single and we all used to go out a lot more than we do in our late thirties. The Leftfield Softball Deviants was a sports team that came into existence purely as a way for three single men to meet women.

In those days I had these pretensions to be a writer and was still basking in some glory as the ex-editor of a cricket fanzine called Johnny Miller 96 Not Out. Luckily the publisher of a local listings magazine was a big fan and got me some gigs writing on unusual sports, and on the face of it, they didn’t come any stranger than softball. Men and women in the same team; are they mad? It will never work.

Having made contact with the local softball league, I accepted the invitation to turn up to an outdoor dog toilet masquerading as a council run sports centre in Horfield, Bristol for an introductory session run by a man with a beard and a girl called Leiza, (currently now third base for the LSDs first team).

Being a cricketer it all seemed quite easy, catching throwing and batting, but what really grabbed the attention was the fact that out of 27 participants, 26 were female. These were odds I could handle!

Next Saturday, whilst playing cricket for Westbury Thirds, I looked around the rest of my team and I turned to steady opening bat and even steadier dentist, Tim Amess and said,
‘Hey,Timbo, fancy playing a sport with better looking players.’
It didn’t take him too long to say yes.

That night the momentum gathered apace.

That night in the Cadbury House, I met his friend, a fellow dentist by the name of Simon Dunn, Tim had on the Way mentioned the fact that we were talking about setting up a softball team, Simon, a baseball fanatic since childhood, proudly exclaimed that he had a glove and a bat. It was start.

By that night we had hatched a plan, the team consisted of two dentists, a cricketer, one bat, a glove and a very cunning plan to use the softball team as an attempt to chat up women. Over the next couple of weeks, the recruiting began in earnest, and within the space of 18 days we assembled on Durdham Downs for that iconic first practice. The other nine to turn up that night were;
Barry Hecker:
Film maker, ex sub editor of Johnny Miller 96 Not Out.
Colette Hodges:
Film editor, ex sub editor of Johnny Miller 96 not out girlfriend of Barry.
Ben Harris:
Photographer and friend of Barry and Collette.
Carol Holmes:
Partner of Ben, teacher whose surname I could never remember, but a text message to Mr Hecker has just sorted.
Rob Dorrington:
Student, renting a room in my house, fellow Brighton supporter.
Andrea Brewin:
Student, course-mate of Rob.
Richard Martin:
Known forever as Bob, student, course mate of Rob.
Clare Skivington:
Fellow Oxfam volunteer, who just happened to be extremely gorgeous.
Ben Nicholson:
Her boyfriend and therefore never liked by the rest of the males in the team.

We borrowed equipment from a girl who was at the training session, we were kinda seeing each other. I told you the odds were in my favour. It was that night that I revealed the team name, Ironically, Ben and Carol the people who were responsible for the moniker, never came to another practice, as legacies go, it was a strange one that has baffled people for years.

In all honesty, the fact that the teams name could be abbreviated to a class A drug was not borne of radicalism just circumstance. Flicking through Ben’s eclectic CD collection we chanced upon ‘Leftfield’, which had baseball and therefore softball connotations. ‘Deviants’, was a tongue in cheek reference to a previous article on Aussie Rules football, which Ben took the photographs for and still hasn’t been paid. So with Leftfield Deviants we thought we had a good name, but, then thought best if we got the ‘Softball’ bit into the title. Leftfield Softball Deviants sounded good, it took about two minutes to then note the significance of the initials,
‘ah no-one will notice’ said Ben already knowing that he wouldn’t be around to explain it.

So through the summer of 1995 people came and went from the LSDs. Those who stayed, recruited players from their own circles. Barry, indirectly recruited Ginge, through an extremely unhinged woman whose name I cannot remember and really wouldn’t do me any good if I did. Ginge came onto the scene two weeks in and has never left. Simon dragged in dentists, Clare dragged in her flatmates, Tim and myself got fellow cricketers and their partners into the squad. As for the master plan, despite my flying start, it soon became clear that only Mr Dunn was going to reap the benefits of my inspiration. We soon played regular Bristol league teams in friendlies and won most of them. Our application to join the league was accepted and in 1996, we joined Division Three of the Bristol Softball Association.

Winning Div Three in the very first year was a bit of a special start, we lost two matches all season and reached some cup final. Two abiding memories of our first season, Andrea’s tight yellow shorts and the single at bat of Kyran Bracken. The future Rugby World Cup winner came in for a single at bat, hit an infield dribbler and got in on first base.

It then all got huge. The team stalled in Div 2 for a eternity, whilst I started a second team. Hopefully as a portent for my current plans, this team won the rival Downs League then having been booted out of that we went and won Division Three in 1998.

If I was to look back at the best period of my softball career, then 1998‘s running of the second team was a particular highlight. Got a great team together, people like Daniel Tooker an American zen hippy, and the genial presence of Paul Tomlinson provided the essential experience. Andy Newstead provided the hair style, a mad Kiwi by the name of Andy Moore provided the thrills and spills. The girls all blended seamlessly together and winning the league on a double play from two girls illustrated the strength of feeling on and off the field.

It all went horribly wrong in 1999, when two teams in the same division just caused too many problems. It didn’t help that I jumped ship I started to play regularly for the first team, mainly infield and catcher We simply struggled to get twenty plus people out on the same night, at one stage both teams could have got relegated, the matches between us were not fun and it caused a shed load of resentment.

When in spring 2000, Timbo emigrated to NZ and as I happened to be on a six week secondment to NZ, I had the job of escorting him out of the country. By the time I had returned our second team had split away to become the Sloggers. Leaner and meaner, focusing on one team rather than two we suddenly found a greater challenge. After four unspectacular seasons in Div Two we got promoted by default as loads of first division teams had folded over the winter. The 2000 season had been significant for another reason. On August 7th I was guest pitching for the Imperial Softball Team. My catcher was Camilla Lewis, in August 2001 she became Mrs Camilla Cotton. It had taken me six years, but the plan had come together, it was definitely worth the wait.

2001 was a good time to play First Division softball in Bristol. With our female pitcher Vivienne pregnant, I got back the job I lost in 1996. That change, combined with the acquisition of some good ex first division players, helped us finish fourth in our debut season and qualified for the B nationals in Canterbury, neatly scheduled a week after return from honeymoon.

We lost in the final of our first B grade nationals, it was an awesome weekend, and the first time that Mike Baptie played for us at short stop. God he was good, his value doubled as it meant that Bob was playing third base. All our captains have had this delusion they were great short stops. Mike wasn’t deluded and in two years was our captain.

We then won three successive league titles and Wednesday’s became uber boring. Turn up and turn over. Weekends were thankfully different. Playing against the big boys and girls we got catapulted into the top ten in the country, surprised them in the beginning but mainly dropped back into the seventh or eighth ranking. Last summer we got people from other teams along to turn it into a league team and at times we struggled but it was a turning point in Bristol softball.

As season 2005 commences only Bob and myself remain from the original 12.
Simon has retired, though has volunteered to coach the new girls, (yep he’s currently single). Tim’s in NZ and getting married next February. Barry is now a Director on BBC Two’s Flog It, Colette is a leading TV and film editor, they move in more stellar company but stopped being an item in 1998. Still good friends though, in fact Colette was bridesmaid at Barry and Carolyn’s wedding. Rob Dorry is in Cardiff, Andrea I have no idea, Ben too. Perhaps we need to set up Deviants Reunited website. Clare was last seen living with another ex LSD player in London. So turning back the clock was not an option.

Married, not playing cricket and all my friends now playing softball for other teams. This was going to be quite different than 1995. Instead of the 12 days it took then, it looks like its going to take a few months to get this team together. It is, however, nearly Christmas and frankly with the new job and all it can wait!

Sunday 14th November
Second week of indoor softball and apart from getting no home runs, told you last week was a fluke; I may have found a solution to starting in Division Three. It appears that a team in Division Two is folding, meaning a vacancy. Had a chat with the team’s organiser, Tim Crocker, and suggested that a solution to my problem would be if the City Slickers and LSDs were to merge. Tim really couldn’t care less and was happy to acquiesce. It also means that we might get a few experienced players. Definitely, this is a good plan.

Wednesday 17th November
Must be a good plan, as the League have said they would have no problems with it, as long as we have a core of players from the team we takeover. What constitutes a core? Well, we need at least seven players. According to Tim that might be a bit of a tough ask but I will give it a go!